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i told andrew last night before we went out for drinks. i spent a long time on my makeup before he came over in hopes i wouldn't cry. i of course did immediately, tears slipping down my cheeks. he just pulled me into his lap and kept whispering in my ear "it's fine, it's fine, it's fine," to which i would cry harder and say "no, it's not it's not."
the most intense moment was when i finally gathered the courage to ask the question that has been eating away at me. i asked if he was going to break up with me, and he said "...no, not over this" and then his voice trembled and he said "unless that's what you want."
i threw my arms around his neck and we held each other for a long time, and i told him that i love him more than i've ever loved anyone, and he kissed me hard and said he wasn't going anywhere. then he wiped away my tears and told me to fix my make up, we were going to go out and have fun.
and we did.
i woke up next to my best friend this morning, and nothing and no one will ever change that.
2:38 p.m. - 2013-12-22
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